I hope I stay here a while!

I went to my Weight Watchers meeting on Monday evening. Not sure why. Haven’t lost any weight to speak of since I rejoined in May of 2008; just the same 10 lbs. But I know from past experience that if I DON’T keep going I will gain. And gain.

While I was there, one of the members said that you just have to put yourself first.

This is not news to me. But in this holiday hustle and bustle, running here and there, all around the square, taxiing Mom to doctor’s appointment and the kids to holiday activities, I knew I was way at the bottom of the list.

And that was starting to wear on me.

So I was ready to hear it that night.

When I came home, I caught up with my husband. We were talking about his day. He mentioned that one of his co-workers commented on my picture, and as I grilled him to find out which picture of me it was (was it flattering, I hoped?), I came to find out that it was indeed flattering. It was one of the pictures take of me about three years ago.

When I was skinny.

We’re not talking super-skinny, of course. At my lowest adult weight, I was still 181.6 lbs (but who’s counting?). But I had just come off 18 months of eating crazy-clean and working out for 2 hours a day. I looked good.

It seems the ONLY pictures of me in my husband’s office are from that time period.

As far as any of his co-workers know, that’s what I still look like. Even though I’ve gained 80 lbs (HEY! I’m still 15 lbs down from my highest-ever weight, okay?!?).

That hit me hard. He never seemed to care about my weight. After 13 years, he has, quite literally, loved me through thick and thin.

But he must want that skinny wife back. And who could blame him?

So I wept for a while, and then sucked it up.

Back in the saddle.

My plan was to journal for four days straight. I don’t HAVE to stay within my points, just journal. If I do, I’m getting me a brand-new Life Is Good tee shirt.

I’ve got 3 days down. I ROCK!

I’ve also been getting up earlier: 6:15 am, when my husband does. I’ve been hitting the elliptical for 20 minutes before getting ready for work. Did that for 2 days, but blew it this morning. Dragged my feet and ran out of time.

My strategy for tomorrow is to set a pot of coffee for 6:00 am and to go to bed in my workout clothes (I hate having to change twice within an hour in the morning!).

Trying not to get ahead of myself. Slow and steady. Small goals. Rewards.

Also, I work at a church, and I just petitioned the church council to let me investigate starting a Weight Watchers meeting at the church. The response so far has been positive! Maybe if there’s one at the church, I could make it EVERY WEEK. Especially if everyone knows I started it…talk about accountability!

Pray for me…

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